Gabriella at 4.5 months

Many of you may already know but most do not unless you have met my daughter. My daughter Gabriella who is 4 was born with a port wine stain on the left side of her face. It covers most of the left side: going down half her nose and lip, covering all of her cheek, part of her temple and partly over her left eye. At the time of her birth we were told the best thing we could do for her was to see a pediatric dermatologist who specializes in vascular birthmarks. We are so lucky to live in the bay area as we discovered one of the best in the business was right in San Francisco (about 35 minutes away) at UCSF. When Gabriella was two weeks old we took her to see         Dr. Frieden and from there scheduled 7 laser treatments starting when she was 5.5 months old. Why laser treatments?

Complications of Port-Wine Stains per American Academy of Dermatology

Port-wine stains, especially those on the face, can have emotional, social, and economic complications. Port-wine stains on the forehead, eyelids or both sides of the face, can be associated with glaucoma and/or seizures. Glaucoma is an increased pressure within the eye that left untreated, can cause blindness. These complications occur in less than half of those with port-wine stains of the forehead and eyelids. All infants with a port-wine stain in those areas should have a thorough eye examination, and if indicated, further brain imaging.  Occasionally, there may be very gradual enlargement of tissues surrounding a port-wine stain, especially if it is affecting an arm or leg. All children with large port-wine stains should be followed for any growth problems.  With time, port-wine stains can develop small blood vessel growths called vascular blebs. These can bleed easily and may be removed.

What is a laser treatment?

Various methods have been tried in the past to remove port-wine stains, but none have worked well. New types of vascular lasers show the best results with the least amount of risk and side effects. Laser treatment of port-wine stains is FDA-approved and available at many dermatologists’ offices around the country. Laser surgery is performed on an outpatient basis. Several treatments are usually required, given at two month intervals. In a small number of patients, lasers can totally clear up the port-wine stain. They lighten the vascular mark 50-90 percent. For reasons that are not fully understood, a small number of patients will not respond well to laser therapy.

We started with laser treatments 01/06 and went every other month until about 9/06.  We stopped after 5 treatments because we felt Gabriella had got the most out of the treatments she could.  The lightening wasn’t happening anymore and we felt she had been exposed enough at this time to help with other potential complications.  Putting her too sleep each time was just so hard, we felt it was time to take a break and we could start up again when she was older.  As she has been growing up we have been trying to teach her how to answer the question “what is wrong with your face?”, “why is your face red” and the long stares from ADULTS and children.   She is doing great and each situation teaches us another way how to handle the lack of education.

As I said earlier, I am writing this today because I came across this link yesterday that I think can help educate the public on the PWS (birthmark) community. It came to me at a special time because Gabriella just went to UCSF yesterday (1/15/10) for her 6th treatment (first one in 3+ years).  The pictures below are from her treatment yesterday.  I also posted one after her 5 treatments from when she was a baby so you can see the difference.  I will post one every few days so you can see the healing process and how it works.  The video shows a young women who takes you through her treatment.  A great Port wine stain documentary to educate the public as well and show strength and courage in doing so.  So the next time you see someone with a large red, purple, mark on their body; now you know, it is just a birthmark.

Gabriella at 18.5 months after 5 treatments

December 09-Gabriella 4 years old 3+ years since treatments

Gabriella 1/15/10 4yr old 8 hours post treatment

Gabriella with best friend Ian-2 days post treatment

Gabriella day 3

Please go to photo’s to see latest pictures of healing process….

let it go,

Gina Kehr

It is time for me to move on.  The consummate athlete in me is not satisfied.  I know there is more in me; I can feel it.  I know I can focus, train hard, make the necessary changes for the 15+ minutes that I know exists in my body. BUT, it will come at a cost that I am no longer willing take.

My body can do it.  Yes, I am 40 and yes I have had 2 children and several injuries but you know what… my body can do it.  Weights and a little more massages and my new found love of resistance stretching and I am GAME ON! But where I am tapped out is mentally. Not mentally doing the workouts; mentally with my life and all that it involves on top of the training and all that it entails.

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and in January of 2010 I will have been a professional triathlete for 12 years.  We went into this venture as a team.  He has been my BIGGEST support every step of the way.  At the end of every season we reevaluate the year and deicide if we keep going.  But this year proved to us that going into 2010 we are at the tipping point; not just financially but emotionally.  My triathlon career has always been a bit on the hectic side.  I do think it is part of what makes me tick and I did get a kind of rush being so successful with all the juggle.  But this year the juggle started becoming more stress than the rush.  The cost is higher than the gain. My kids are little, my daughter will be in kindergarden next year, Blaisen will be 2 in January and they really need me to be more available. Not just physically but emotionally.  My days are whirlwind days and add fatigue of training and all the mental power that goes into that, I am at my brink by the end of the day.  Plus, it is time for my husband to have his time.  He is a firefighter and even though the schedule may seem like it is easy with 24 hours off at a time, it is tough.  No family around means when he is at work and I need to train I have to pay for a sitter and when he if off duty and I need to train, he is always the sitter. He deserves and needs his time.

So, it is time for me to move on.  What does that mean?  When I first starting thinking about moving on I was first in the mind set that I was done, selling all my stuff and that was that.  But I had just crossed the finish line at IMAZ and in no frame of mind to make any decisions.  Now that I am thinking more clearly I remember Karen Smeyers telling me something; never say the word retired.  Rather than saying I am retiring, I am saying that racing as a professional triathlete will not be my priority for 2010.  I may or may not be on a race course next year.  I will stay as fit as I can but not put the demands for training on myself as in previous years. What I will be making a priority is giving back to the sport everything I have learned.  It has been so clear to me all year this is the direction I should go.  I feel I can do SO much, there are so many avenues that I can go down I get all choked up just thinking about it.  I love helping people, I love sharing my experiences and now is the time to do so!  Plus with all that is going on with the women fields at Ironman races maybe there is a way I can help so we can set everyone up for success.

As we speak, I am in the process of creating a triathlon business here in the bay area of California.  Excuse me for not giving more details at this time, but I want to make sure I can deliver all that I say, so I am thinking carefully in announcing my agenda.  I can tell you this though; I am really excited for all that I will offer and I will be launching in early 2010. Please stay tuned!

There is a whole group of people that I want to pay special attention to but if I do that here, this post will be WAY too long and I want these people and companies to get the props they deserve.  I have been very lucky to work with such great sponsors and to have so many influential people around me that they need to have their own post.  Please check back for Part II of Moving On.

Happy Holidays to all.  Enjoy this time of year and spend extra time with family and friends.  Get the rest and relaxation you need and mentally fill your tank; so next year you can attack it like it is your first time out the door!

Hugs to all,

Gina Kehr

Let it go

Philippines 70.3

much love, Gina

Two days post Ironman World Championships and I am still stunned as to my outcome; a DQ.  It is unbelievable to me that a race of such prestige can hire such amateurs to hold the fate of an athletes outcome in their hand.  I want it to be noted that I have not yet read any of the race reports that have been written either by WTC itself or by any other people who fell victim to this very poor sportsman ship type of behavior.  I want to get my side of the story out through my thoughts with out any other influence.  Below is a summary of the 4 penalties I received during the bike portion of the Ironman World Championships on October 10, 2009.  I am and always have been a fair player and I stand  true to my integrity as an athlete and human being.

Penalty Number 1:  It was somewhere after we turned off the Queen K and were well into Kawaihae heading to Hawi.  I had been caught by a large pack of woman somewhere around mile 25-30.  The pack consisted of names like, Michellie Jones, Belinda Granger, Joanna Lawn, Miranda Carfrae and Rebekah Keat to name 5 of the 7-8 woman.  The pack was strung out in a line and it looked as if everyone was staying the proper distance.  There were times when the group would bunch up and that was especially true heading up any grade.  We would ride consistent and then have to put on the brakes to naturally stay the distance.  My first penalty came when I accidentally was pushed into the draft zone due to pace of the group slowing up not due to riding up the wheel.  The pace would slow and boom-you are in the zone.  That is how it happened; I was riding along and then the pace slowed I entered the draft zone by .5 meters and then got flashed a RED CARD.

Taking the Penalty: I took my 4 minutes in Hawi along with Michellie Jones and Rebekah Keat-they entered the tent about 20-30 seconds ahead of me.  While we where there Joanna Lawn came in with her second one but I learned that was just serving a yellow which is a check in.  I also learned she served her first one (4 min for drafting) on the highway.  She must of been popped in our group as well but was able to take her 4 min in the first tent which was along the highway.

Penalty Number 2: Once leaving the tent I hammered to try and get back in the game to keep the other two woman in site.  It looked as if Rebekah and Michellie had regrouped and added a few people on the way.  I did all I could to just keep them in sight.  As we turned back onto the Queen K things were starting to go a bit south.  I was feeling how hard I had ridden the beginning and was having some fuel issues.  The winds had picked up and around mile 80+ an age group guy caught me. I dropped back but then caught back up; I had my head down and new I was too close and before I knew it I was tagged again for drafting.  He told me the next penalty box was in transition and to take it there.

Penalty number 3: After that referee left me I knew I was 2 strikes against me; I was bummed but I was still feeling like I was in the game.  I would just take a little break in the transition.  I was in no mans land or what I also like to call the “dead zone” when the third one happened.  Still in need of fuel, the winds were pretty tough and I was swerving all over the road. I even said to my self, “wow Gina you are all over the road get yourself under control” when this woman came up to me with a VERY bad attitude almost like she was angry; like we had had some sort of confrontation earlier.  Now it should be noted I had a red slash on my number indicating I was one penalty in. Anyway, she came blazing up to me and screamed I was blocking and flashed me a yellow card.  I was STUNNED.  Blocking? Blocking who? I was in no mans land at about 90 miles.

Penalty number 4: I was all over the place emotionally.  First thought was…3 penalties….what.  I guess I should quit.  Then it was “no I am going to ride this in.”  Then it was, “this is crazy I am going to ride in and protest this.  I have been here 8 times, I know how to ride this course, I know how to ride period, I have had ONE penalty in my entire 10 year professional career and today I get 3? No no no, something isn’t right I am going to keep going.”  I am at about mile 95-100 when I hear the motorcycle behind me again.  An age group guy had passed me and I slowed down and let him get his distance.  He was actually a dot and half in front of me, I hear the motorcycle just hovering behind me and when I look I see that it is the same lady referee. She rides up to me and stares me down.  I was floored.  I said “WHAT are you doing?  I know how to ride, I have been here 8 times and I know what I am doing. I don’t get it.”  I stood up as we are on a climb, not charging just standing and she glared right at me and took her stop watch and started it right in front of my face as if to say, Take That, and after 30 seconds she flashed me a red card, called me for drafting and rode away.

At this point I admit it, I lost it.  I was crying and just have never felt so picked on in all my racing career and at the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS none the less.  I then got so pissed I told myself I was going to finish this race and still get top 10.  I rolled into transition in 9th place; I did go straight to the tent.  It was total chaos.  They had ran out of watches, there were people everywhere and the head referee was over his head with what to do.  I told the head referee I wanted to protest, tried to explain quickly what had happened but he was lost for words.  He said I could go run but that I needed to know I would most likely get DQ’d but that I could go have a good run and we would deal with it after the race.  So into the changing tent I went, and off to the run I went and now I was in 16th place with the time lost in transition.  Mentally, I was trying to wrap my mind behind what was happening.  I was trying not to focus on it but at the same time I knew once I hit that highway on the run I was going to need all my mental strength to get through that run.  It was then that I stopped to talk to my husband and tell him what happened to get his opinion.  As you can imagine he was shocked and to make a long story short by the time I would run again I had lost so much time that at 8 miles it just seemed pointless to keep going just to finish.  I have done this race too many times to know that it takes everything out of you to get through that marathon and I was just not willing to go there under those circumstances.

The thing that I want to get across is this.  I am all about fair play and I will be the first to admit when I was wrong.  Of the 4 penalties, I absolutely will accept number 2 and take full responsibility.  Number 1 is questionable and I know I am not the only one who walked away with one of those.  But number 3 and 4 to me was purely bad sportsmanship on the referee.  She was out for blood.  I am disgusted by her, she purposefully gave me penalties and DQ’d me. As far as I am concerned she has put a red mark on WTC and the types of people they hire.  I have no idea how this can be made right, all that I worked for for that particular race is gone, I was disrespected as an athlete and as a supporter of WTC.

I am still hitting the weight room 3-4 times a week and I have seen some good results. Right now, money is pretty tight and we are having to keep the kids home more which is keeping me from getting out as much as I would like. The gym has become a priority workout; I am working all aspects of my body trying to work in all the different planes.

Right now, each week I am increasing my bike and run and I just started to structure a focus bike week and a focus run week. I know I am capable of 2 hard quality workouts in each discipline so it is just a matter of making the right juggle and getting the right rest.

I just started bringing in the intensity last week, it is awesome, I brought on smokers cough as well as double cramping in both quads-BRING IT; I like to say. I am planning on WF as my first race; it has been 5-6 years since I have been there, wow, should be a good time.

I am on Twitter if you want to follow my day to day training; trying to show the balance of it all. Whew, who new life was going to be so busy; I need to blog the mental banter I have in my head sometimes-I think it would make a great book .

Let it go,
Gina

I am happy to announce that although the past few months I have been struggling with left over Ironman pain, I am happy to finally say all systems are go. For a while I was a bit nervous because every time I worked out I was getting this groin pain that I was not able to knock. After a MRI and bone scan it looks like everything is clear and what my issue comes down to is function. During both my pregnancies I was put in the category of AMA (Advanced Maternal Age). It really would piss me off because with my first pregnancy I was only 35 and I turned 36 a month after she was born. With baby number 2, I was 38-clearly putting me in the category. Well, now that I am approaching the big 40 in September and after seeing I was one of the “oldest” on the professional start list at Ironman in 08, I have put myself in the AAA category of sports (Advanced Athletic Age). I have come to accept this phase of my life and actually I am really enjoying it. See, I did all the long, overtraining type of training years ago, so now I am learning that I need to focus on strength. That is what the results of all my test came to; “you need to hit the gym”, is what I was told by my ortho. I started triathlon in 1995 and have never done a strength program, who has the time right? For 13 years I just did the same stuff, I would get aches and pains, I would get a massage and it would go away. In the off season I would do nothing physically, literally nothing. Then I would go from being sedentary for 8-10 weeks to swimming, biking and running, no weights. I know, I know, I know, I look super strong. It is a facade unfortunately. The more lean I would get my muscles just showed more but they didn’t really do much. So, now at the age of 39.5, I am hitting the gym. That is my focus workout 3-4 times a week. And you know what, it is working. I still have the groin pain here and there but it has improved a TON and all my other work outs seem to be better. I can’t help but now understand what Dara Torres was doing with her training as she prepared for trials and the games last summer; focusing on strength. If I had the pocket book that she did I would do the same thing, really take the gym to another level and lay a bit lower on the other training. For now, I will just keep doing what I am doing, hitting the gym and then getting to the swim, bike and run part of my program. As I said a little bit ago, I love the AAA part of my life; makes training more fun and interesting.

let it go,
Gina

Early December I was able to get in a few weeks of training. My body was still feeling IM and both kids were sick and I just wasn’t feeling that great; so I pulled the training plug and enjoyed the holidays. After the holidays I started getting on it with the training again, which for me was WAY ahead of schedule (heck-I already had 2 weeks in under my belt which was CRAZY) but the body was still not digging what I was doing. Lucky for me I had my new winter ZOOT gear-so I was super warm therefore making me happy even though my body was not . After several weeks of not feeling right I thought it appropriate to focus on weights and let my body recover from the training and childbirth that I put on it last year. I think 8 months post baby was a bit much for my body to handle. The rest seems to be helping and the weights have been great-I am not a lean mean machine right now, more of a muscle machine but that is cool.

Other than that we are plugging along. The economy issue that is out there is effecting us a bit; my real estate is not as “easy” as it use to be so we are having to keep the kids home more making it a bit harder to juggle all the stuff-but we are riding the wave and looking forward to the “groove” that I know will be here at some point. I hate to admit I am struggling a bit with the balance as it is one of my niches-but it is true-I know I will get that balance back, it is just another adjustment.

Hope everyone out there is getting ready for a great year and I look forward to seeing you at the races!

Let it go,
Gina Kehr

Cool Hand Blaisen

Family b-day photo

Just a quick shout out to everyone to let you all know that my detectives are racing IM Arizona this weekend!  If you are in AZ watching, write these two numbers down, #1597 and #1043, on your list of those to watch and give these guys a special shout as you see them.  I am hoping IM will give them some love on race day.  All of you who are watching from online, give some sidline cheer for them that they have a safe day and they cross the finish line with smiles on their faces.  I can’t wait to watch them!

On another note, I have been trying to upload my Ironman race report for quite some time now and it seems to be too big to upload.  That will be fixed soon.  Since I have been back from Kona I have been decompressing, working, hanging with the family, rolling with the econmoy and getting ready for 09.  I may be ready to start working out again by next week. I am working on lots of stuff and will have some fun things to add to my webiste in the near future.  Until then, GO DETECTIVES!!!

Let it go,

Gina

I specifically put in the title of my blog “raced” to let people know for the first time in my triathlon career I was in Kona to win.  Even though I did not get the place that I wanted, I raced that race all day long and had I not, I don’t know if I would have finished in the top 20!  I am proud of myself for doing so and what helped me stay in the game all day was the thought of my two kids.  I was looking forward all day to see my 3 year old because she was so excited to say “GO MOMMY!  I assumed my 8 month old would most likely be asleep when I would come by but it didn’t matter because all I could think about was that not more than 16 weeks earlier I was breastfeeding that little guy! I was loving just knowing he was on the island waiting for me to come home so he could give me a big smile!  My endorphins were up and down all day and on the bike to Hawi they were flying high at one point when a camera crew came up on me.  I held my fingers up and showed them the number 2 and told them the 2 was for 2 kids and that I was doing this for all the moms out there and for the women out there who think they can not stop being an athlete to have kids.  I was on a mission to show everyone you can come back better than before.  My mind was in a great place and I smiled all day long because of it. 

To give you a little history:

In 2006 I was 4th overall in this race after 2.5 years off due to injuries and having my first baby.  I was very fired up in 2007 to make the jump to first place and when I became pregnant in May of 07 I am not going to lie, I was bummed.  THAT WAS NOT IN MY PLAN.  But as I am continuing to learn, plans are meant to be changed and going with the flow (like water) is what is meant to happen.  I made my moto “let it go” after my 06 race because that is what I did a lot of that year and after I became pregnant I felt I was being given a test to see if I really believed it.  It took the entire 9 months to relearn my “let it go” philosophy and when mister Blaisen was born I was in full swing of letting go and not focusing on how I was going to get fit to race again or anything for that matter.  I took it day by day and by April first I still had not ridden my bike (the race was in 6 months and I had stopped riding since July 07).  I kept telling myself it will all come together when it needs to and I believed it; I mean, I really believed it, I felt it in my gut.  I balanced my training the best I could and when things got in the way I let it go.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I had many times where I thought I was crazy for doing what I was doing but I focused on getting those thoughts out of my head as fast as I could.  Each month I focused more and more on my thought process and as the race approached I honed in more and more on how I was thinking.  I knew I would be going into this race with less than optimal training but I knew my mind could take me where I wanted to go; so that is what I did, trained my mind.  My kids are a big part of keeping me in the moment and everytime I worked out I thought of them.  Ironman was just a big workout day with great aid and I did what I do in training.  I let my body do what it could and I stayed positive all day and I thought of being a mom and competing with the best in the world.   Again, 9th place is not where I wanted to be but in the end I was engaged all day, I felt I exceeded my fitness level and I have 2 great kids and an awesome husband to go home to; so in the end I would say I am a winner.

Let it go,

Gina

P.S. I will have a full race report in a few days